Helping makes you feel good :)

If you can't read the sticker it says: 'Be nice to me. I gave blood today.' Just doing my bit to help people :)

Proud to be British

The wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton was today, and it reminded me of why I should be proud to be British. Our Royal Family is a centre part to the British way of life, that we have divorce is thanks to King Henry VIII, yes he was crazy but he made it possible. The RF are a figure of hope for many, especially in tough times, no matter how bad things are, a Royal occasion we can all watch really helps cheer the country up. The fact that Britain still has a RF is something to be proud of itself. So many European countries got rid of their royal families due to them not being able to evolve with the times. Our RF has managed to so, and therefore managed to retain their place in Britain.

The wedding itself was absolutely stunning. The dress, the abbey, the bride, everything. Even Prince William told her she was beautiful, and no lip reader was required for viewers to understand what he was saying. The balcony viewing was awesome, they kissed so fast I wonder if anyone got it. They did it on their terms, not waiting for the crowd to start chanting, and then they kissed again. No Royal couple has ever kissed on the balcony twice since the tradition was introduced by Prince William's mother and father; Princess Diana and Prince Charles 30 years ago.
I'm proud to be British, and I should remember it more often.

Remember, love. Always love.

Who was I to limit myself

I love the colour I'm currently going. I never thought I'd like a tan but I do, which is why we should all be willing to change. So with some help of my nan's lovely South facing garden and some tanning moisturiser I'm more tanned than I was when I got back from Spain last year.

I felt quite ill this morning, it's the dreaded TOM and I think I had food poisoning from the kebab I had for dinner last night, but my daddy being the lovely guy he is, went to Asda got me some Pepto and at about 12 I was up and ready to face the world.

Tomorrow will probably be a day of studying, I don't even know what I want to do any more. Yes, I love history, yes I'd love to teach, but do I want to teach little shits? No, I do not. I'll just let fate decide.

Remember, love. Always love.

Love, Always love

It was my birthday on Sunday and it was pretty nice. Went out with my mum and nan, then had my first driving lesson with a guy who didn't even ask to see my lisence, safe to say I'm not going with him again and then a BBQ round my nans. This weekend was so nice.
I was in Cornwall Friday and Saturday and I absolutely loved it, sure I'm only part Cornish but I feel completely at home when I'm there, even more so than I do when I'm in Swindon. Sure I know my way (sorta) round Swindon but I don't have the sense of belonging that I do when I'm in Cornwall.

Yesterday was my birthday thing, just a chill evening with Sophie, Hazel and Lucinda, a couple of drinks, a lot of cigarettes and nice chats.
Sophie got me the best birthday present ever. She got me Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 which I was expecting and then she did this Harry Potter letter, you know the one they get to inform them that they have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. That was the coolest thing ever, I'm going to frame it.

I spent today just chilling in the sun, I think I'm slightly burned, but I shall survive.

Remember, love. Always love.

I wish I was James Bond

It's the start of the Easter Holidays and what a pretty awesome start it has been, too.
Yesterday I went to see Scouting for Girls, the band where all the songs sound the same, you know all the words, can't help but sing along, and they really get their audience to participate. Safe to say, it was an awesome show. I love Roy. Pictures will be arriving soon. Well, when my sister lets me have the camera to put them on my laptop.

Here's what's up and coming:
Tuesday: Psychology revision sesh
Wednesday: Hazel's party thing in Lydiard, it's meant to rain. Should be interesting
Thursday: Birthday thing with Alex '_'
Friday: Memorial in Cornwall
Saturday: Shopping in Cornwall
Sunday: My 17th birthday and my first eve driving lesson
Monday: Revision during the day and then a small gathering at mine with hopefully S, L, H, L and B
Remainder of the week: Revision, revision, revision.

Not a bad half term, even if I'd rather go without the revision.

See ya suckers

I'm walking on sunshine

These past two days have been sunny, woohoo. For it to be sunny and warm in April, it's kind of exciting, considering one year it snowed in April, and you have the whole April showers thing.

Yesterday was pretty sucky as I was ill and couldn't hang in town with S and H, but I made up for it today, kinda. It wasn't with S and H, it was with L and I like to think we had fun :). Chilling in the Weir field before hand, having a smoke, as you do, then walking round town. I brought nothing, L had fun picking hair colours out. She said she's going to blame me if things go wrong because I agreed with her colour choices. Then we must have gone to every single shop just to find a bloody highlight cap. It got so bad we were contemplating stealing one from a highlighting kit, simply because we couldn't see any on their own. We must be so freakin' blind! Asked some woman who worked in the shop where they were. Bam! She took us straight to where we'd looked before contemplating theft. So moral of the story here is; always ask, it'll stop you stealing.

My coursework is nearly done, which is awesome, as it's 3 weeks overdue, I've just lacked motivation. It being the day before the last day of term made me pay attention and try to get it done. Only 838 words left, which may seem like a lot, but actually isn't.
Best get back to it.

Why do you have to go and put stars in their eyes

It's been a while my people and I thought I'd inform you of my life.
I am now seeing someone, early days. Nothing serious, scared of commitment me but it seems to be going well at the moment. I think our biggest bonding thing came with our shared dislike of tomatoes.

School is the same as it's always been, I go to lessons, see friends, chill in the sun (It's sunny at the moment, ah the joy) and then go home. Exams are looming ever nearer, and the teachers like to remind us of this every single day.

Getting my haircut this week, bricking it a little bit as I'm going relatively short. But it will always grow so even if I don't like it just have to endure it for a while :).

Peace out suckers

I wish I was this cool

I wish I was cool enough to have this hair and look good with it

Sleepless nights and endless skies

So, I didn't sleep too good last night. I guess that's not all that surprising. I almost strangled myself in my sleep with my Granny's cardigan that my mum gave me because it still smelt like her.
You know that feeling, when you're just drifting off to sleep an idea comes to you, it might be a lyric, a poem or the starts of a story. Well that happened to me. I'm going to share the poem that took me 5 minutes to write and just so you know, I don't care if you think it's really crappy. I think it's crappy but it's mine so I'm allowed to.

So much life,

So much joy.

Just like getting,

A brand new toy.

So much warmth,

So much glee.

And I thank you,

Now for loving me.

So much wisdom,

So much wit.

The stories you told,

I will never forget.

So much laughter,

So few tears.

I miss you now,

And for all my years.

So many things,

I wish I could say.

But this is my Granny,

And in my heart,

She'll always stay.

The end is upon us at last

Well, today has been the crappiest day of the year, so far. My Granny died, and while some of you reading this probably couldn't care less, it's important for me to document this day.
So, I wake up at 6:10 as I normally do, start doing my normal routine and the phone rings. The phone ringing at 7:20am is never a good thing. I hear my mum hang up and run down stairs and she's saying she's going to the hospital. My first thought; oh shit, my second thought; I need to phone 6th form and my 3rd thought; I won't get to have a coffee.
We all dress in a hurry; my mum, my dad, my sister and of course myself. We jump in the car and are at the hospital by about 6:45am. We get told that she'd passed at about 7. So, being in the beginnings of a crying fest. I go outside to smoke, walk over to where I can see two of my great uncles and one asks me what's happened. So I say 'She's gone' and he said 'What do you mean?' What do I mean?! How many meanings can those words have in a hospital when you know a beloved family member might die?!
Then stuff happens and I go in and see her 2 times. The first to tell her I love her and I'll miss her the second to apologise for the fact that she won't ever get to see my children or to see me go to uni but that my children will grow up knowing who she is and how much I loved her and that everything I do will be for her, to make her proud. We sit around some more, I smoke like a chimney which I felt bad about because she didn't like people smoking and then think, I jinxed it. I was talking about how I might be getting a tattoo this year when my Granny dies, and I just kept thinking maybe if I hadn't of said that, she wouldn't have gone. So at about 11 we head home to do the normal daily routine, you know tidy up the house and do shopping and such and go round my nan's to sit with her because she was in such a state and I came up with this analogy; it's like on Christmas day, when all the presents have been opened and you've had your dinner and it's the time between having dinner and going to a relatives for tea (i.e. cakes and pudding and such) and you just don't know what to do with yourself.
I was debating whether or not to go to this youth group thing I'd been planning on going to all week and I was pretty certain I wouldn't go and then I get a text from a friend who earlier in the week said they weren't going to tell me that they now were and I took it as a sign from my Granny to go on as I would've if this terrible thing hadn't have happened. I went and for a couple of hours, I just sort of, not forgot, but just chilled out and didn't think about it. And it was really nice.
My friends have been amazing, you know when phoning them at 7:30 and trying to get through and them answering and just listening and offering to hang out and others sending their condolences through text. It doesn't sound like much, but to me it helped.
I might go buy some yellow roses tomorrow, as they were her favourite.

P.S. for those of you who don't know Granny to me is great-grandmother.

The best things in life are free... Sort of

Nothing beats coming home from a day of lessons and sitting down at your laptop with a cup of coffee checking out the religious news on the guardian website. Yes, this is what I am doing right now.
And although I enjoy reading about world religion and such some of the things people do in the name of 'religion' piss me off. There's a Baptist group in American going around and crashing the funerals of dead service men because they were gay. That's completely wrong on so many levels. These are the people fighting for your country in a war, albeit a pointless one. But they put their lives on the line for a country they claim to love so much. They have slogans like 'Pray for more dead soldiers' and 'USA = Fag Nation'. It just really pisses me off. These guys deserve repect, and I'm not just saying that because I'm against homophobia. These people are dead, didn't your mamma and daddy teach you to not insult the dead? And, yes I have only just started going to church and such but I went to C of E primary school and I've read the Bible before, not the whole thing, yet. I don't recall it ever saying that Jesus wants you to go out and preach hate and disrupt people's funerals. I'm pretty sure his message was love. But feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Love your neighbour as yourself, is what Jesus said, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want their son's or their grandson's funeral trashed and disrespected that way.
People have a right to believe what they want, but don't do it in a hateful way.

No idea what to call this

Well, today I went to church. Yes, you heard read me right. Church. It was completely unexpected how much I enjoyed it. I've been to churches before and they've all been really boring but this one wasn't. The people were all really nice and they youth all sit together and the adults sit together but they're united as one people. I sat with the youths and I got introduced to so many people I can even remember their names and their was this one guy who was pretty nice to look at. It wasn't boring because you weren't being lectured at, we sang like 5 songs and they were happy upbeat songs you could dance to, and believe me, some people did. And when the pastor was talking about God, she related it to real life, and didn't drone on in a monotonous way.
I'm planning on going again next week because, I felt something. And not some guys hand creeping up my leg either. And there's a thing on Friday I might go to. We'll see how this journey goes but the start has been pretty sweet.

To me you're the world but to you I'm just part of the world

I hate the legal system, it's just screwed my family something rotten. And what can I do about? Diddly squat is what.

On the upside, I have a new ring which I'm in love with :). Can't really see it all that well but it has a little pattern on it, which I think is Celtic. Possibly.

Silver Ring Thing

Time and time again I've contemplated staying a virgin until I get married. This thought crosses my mind about 4-5 times a year, and to me that seems like I should probably do something in regards to my thoughts if they've been happening since I was about 14 and I'm almost 17 now. So three years with the same thought cropping up, I need to do something with it.
I love the idea of waiting to marriage, and I believe it's what I should do, but then what if I say I'm going to do it, and then I have sex. I'd feel like I let myself down and not just myself but my parents and to some extent God. I mean, I'm not insanely religious, but I have come to the conclusion there is a God.
But then, if I do have sex before I'm married without making any promises to myself/family/God will I be happy about it? Do I want to have to live with the regret if I make the wrong choice? Because even though I might meet someone I really like and 'love' it probably won't be true love and if I do have sex with him, my virginity isn't something I can get back. It probably sounds really old fashioned but I value my V card, in a way.
It's a lot to contemplate but it's what I'll be doing for a little while.

You love him. Don't use words I don't understand

Well, it's the half term and I can see that today is probably going to be the only decent of it. I had the house to myself and it was so nice. I mean, I like having company but I'd choose a night in by myself with a good book than a huge party. And it's even better having a free house to read that book in. I'm not confined to my room, and I don't have to worry about being in someones way. Although, I will admit I am feeling a little lonely in the whole love department, but I'm sure that'll sort its self out eventually.

Although I am lacking love which is aimed at me, I have plenty of love for a fictional character. Eric Northman, from the Southern Vampire Mysteries/True Blood. Alexander Skarsgard plays him in the show. Not the best picture, since he's all in character and looking a little hungry but c'mon! Look at that huge hunk of muscle, you wouldn't say no if he put his arm around you. Although, I do much prefer this picture:

 Ahh, jizz in my pants.
 

Moving on to pasteurs anew

I'm creating a new blog as I don't feel I can post on this one without getting judged for what I say. I shall use this one for the boring details of my life and everything else on another one.
Peace out suckers

I'm haunted...

In psychology today I found out I'm more of a Type A personality than Type B which means I'm more prone to stress related illnesses, but like anything it has it's flaws so hopefully I'll be fine.

Comic Relief is coming and in all fairness, I'm none too happy about it. I understand that they need the money, but doesn't everyone right now? Sure, they're worse off than everyone else but that's neither their fault or mine, it's their governments, so donating money seems kinda stupid if their government is just going to keep it for themselves. And the way they try to raise money sort of makes me not want to donate even more, they use guilt. I hate feeling guilty, and making someone donate out of guilt doesn't mean they're happy to be helping, their probably pissed off at being guilt tripped into it. I think you should only donate money if you care about the cause, the more you care the more you give. Like if I ever won the lottery I'd donate half to charity, splitting it between cancer research, helping people effected by rape - especially children - and towards some charity that tries to prevent homophobia. All three causes are important to me, and therefore I'd be glad to help, not made feel bad for not helping. Go ahead and donate if that's what makes you feel happy, just remember it's not for everyone and no one should be made to feel bad about not donating as you might not know their circumstances.

One would like some tea and scones

After a semi-productive day doing some biology notes, I went blog browsing and the ones I was looking at were mainly American, well American teenage girls and they all seem to have a thing for the English accent. I mean, I'm proud to be English but don't really see the big deal. I guess it's because I'm so desensitised to it I don't really notice but I'd like to know what it is that the Americans find so appealing about it.

Rolling on a river

I have a rollling machine and I love it.
Another thing I love is having the day off tomorrow due to my teacher not being in.

That is all.

Cigarettes and chocolate milk

I haven't blogged in a while, basically because there's been nothing to blog about. That is still the case but I feel bad if I neglect it for too long.
My weekend was below average. I did nothing, besides what The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, Star Wars Episode 3 and Angels and Demons. It was fun :).
I've decided as of about an hour ago that I'm going to start smoking rollies, lols are to be had about how badly they will look, but it'll be cheaper for me, especially when my uncle can get 50g for £7.50 which is pretty damn cheap.

Kinda looking forward to Friday, going to the cinema with Georgii, Laura and maybe Hazel and then back to Georgii's for the night, should be good. Should probably ask Lucinda and Sophie, if either of you read this you're more than welcome :).

I feel like I'm falling behind in my 6th form work. I haven't done my English coursework. I haven't read the books for English lit and, huh. Looks like I'm only behind in English and considering how much I love to read you'd think I wouldn't be, I just can't get into it. I think it might be down to my teachers, not a big fan of either of them if I'm honest.

I really need to get a job, there's so much I need to buy, pay and save for:
1. Driving lessons
2. Car tax
3. General living
4. Summer outings and such

Hopefully jobs will start opening up and since EMA is being scrapped I'll also need to pay for 6th form next year as well. I've got a couple of months and hopefully I'll find something but in this climate it's easier said than done.

The tears have dried on my face

Today was, in one word, crap.
I was fine when I woke up and then listening to the radio pissed me off because the idiots that call themselves politicians voted on getting rid of EMA, I knew it was happening but it being confirmed is a different thing. My parents were on my case about jobs in order to be able to afford 6th form next year, like I don't already know I need one. And then I was just snapping at people and I feel like crap for it. Had a little female problem as well and then when my sister got home it seemed like it was 'Make Kayleigh Feel Like Crap Day'. Whatever, I mean in two years I'll be out of here and off to uni, hopefully.

I've been thinking about my Grampy as well today, in a week and a bit it'll be 9 years since he died and thinking about it brings back so many memories. The thing that always upsets me though is that I'd never give him a kiss goodbye unless he was clean shaven, and I think of all the times I didn't give him a kiss and feel guilty knowing I probably hurt him, and no one that freakin' awesome deserves to feel hurt.

Fighting dragons with you turned out to be a mistake

Isn't this just the cutest thing you've ever seen? It's Toothless form How To Train Your Dragon and he's totally adorable. If you haven't seen the film I suggest you watch it ASAP. It turns out the Dragons aren't evil and are just doing it because of a big, evil Dragon who is like their master. I guess it shows you can never know peoples motives.

Sick of playing by the rules of someone else's game

My exams are officially over until the summer and I couldn't be happier. I don't have to worry about them until I get the results back in March and then I will also be revising for my summer exams.
That is why I haven't blogged in a while, been swamped with revision as well as trying to keep up in other lessons.
On an even happier note I finished Awakened which I had been waiting for since I finished Burned. I love feeling like I know the characters and being able to get lost in what's happening in their lives and not what's happening in mine. They have similar problems anyone has; friends, boyfriends, sex, deciding who you are, who you want to be and so on. And I really enjoy it. I love Zoey and Stevie Rae's relationship. They're best friends and even though they sometimes conceal the truth from each other, they always forgive each other in the end because they know they other didn't do it to spite them.

On a completely random tangent, I love recycling. However, I am not a fan of recycling plans I've made with one friend. If I make plans with that one friend, I wouldn't go and make the same plans with someone else. It annoys me. Why say you're going to do something and then not.

I had a really good time with Hazel in town today, it was fun. We chatted about random things on the way to the bus and on the bus. Met up with her sister and had fun, even if it was pissing it down with rain. I love how Hazel can put a smile on my face at anytime of the day, even if I don't want to. She's just insanely gifted at being slightly insane :)

I am humbled by you all

Being bored I decided to check out my stats, as you do and I am pretty humbled. I'm humbled by the fact that people have read my blog in the UK, US, Denmark and Russia. I'm surprised as I think it's all complete and utter crap and often doesn't make any sense but thank you.

Oh, any Russian viewers please feel free to leave a comment or anything because I'd be very interested in speaking to you.

Long live all the mountains we moved. I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

I'd much rather be fighting dragons over the next coming weeks in place of what is coming up.
I have two exams this upcoming week and I'm not prepared for either one. Getting my psychology mock grade was a little bit of a wake up call but hopefully this weekend I'll get down and dirty and do some major revision/cramming. It's definitely what's needed.

I'd give anything to be in university already and to have done all of this. I want to start my degree and focus on history and that's it. History is what I love at the moment, it's where my passions lie, I think and is all I want to do. I think I've said this before but I'm an impatient person and if it's not in the near future I will go on about it forever.

I met this rather awesome girl on Monday, she wasn't what I expected, in a good way and I hope it might go further but who knows. She's really pretty and I'm not so much :/.

I'm getting my haircut next Monday and I have no idea what to do with it. So, this weekend along with revising, I'll be attempting to decide what to do with my hair.

Peace out