I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up. It could still be simple

Tomorrow is new years eve and man has this year gone fast.  I've met some pretty awesome people this year, fell in love albeit unrequited and grew up.
It's weird to think about what you can accomplish in one year; whether it's realising who you are, getting some GCSEs/AS/A Levels, meeting new people or just generally having a good time. Especially when there is so much stress on people my age at the moment to do well, get into uni and keep the pass rates up in schools and colleges.
It's been a pretty awesome year, its ups and downs like any other, and although I don't want to jynx it, I have a feeling next year is going to suck.

There are 10 things I'd really like to happen next year:
 1) Fall in love, the kind that's reciprocated and you feel like you can't be without the person you're in love with.
2) Do well in my AS Levels, so I can continue onto A2 and go to university
3) Pass my drivers test, because I think I will become more independent
4) Meet new people, you can never have too many people in your life
5) Stay close to those that have gone to other colleges, they mean so much to me and I don't want to lose them
6) Become more motivated, this is something I really lack at the moment
7) Focus on my family and friends because they won't always be around
8) Stop being so focused on material things, they don't last and don't love me back.
9) Get a job, this one isn't as important at the rest and it just popped into my head.
10) Be who I am and not care about what other people think about me

So there you go, the 10 things I want to achieve. I'll probably manage 3 or 4, depends how lucky I am.

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

I didn't want to get up early and go to work and all that normal Sunday crap but it turned out to be the best sunday I've had in a while. While work wasn't all that going round my uncle's after was pretty awesome. My aunt had all her family there and while my parents and sister left early I stayed and socialised. I got to go in their hot tub and that was awesome. I mean, drinking a can of larger and smoking a cigarette whilst in a bubbling pit of hot water whilst it was cold outside was pretty awesome.
However, I think it's safe to say Christmas is pretty much over. Tomorrow it's back to reality. Attempting to revise when really just wanting to be chilling out and watching Inception or Eclipse or something like that. But instead I'll be attempting to pointlessly study for exams I know I will fail. And the thing is, now that I have a goal to study history in the future, I'm not all that bothered about the up-coming exams but I need them because you need 3 full A levels to do any course at university.
I cannot wait until I'm at university, it seems like such an experience and I can't wait to live it. It'll be the best thing in my life until I either get married/have a civil partnership and possibly, although very unlikely have children. I actually kind of can't wait to become a teacher either. Sure, I'll have little shits to deal with, but finding the kids who really enjoy my subject will be such a joy.

Thats it really, I might come up with a New Years Resolution but I probably won't.

Can't turn back now

So, today is Christmas and as far as they go, it's been a pretty awesome one.
Firstly, I got all this cool nick nack stuff which I really love. Things such as socks and bras really brighten up my Christmas, I mean isn't that what Christmas is about, little things that make you happy?
Secondly, my great nan is still alive and thats just pretty much the only thing I wanted for Christmas this year, for her to be alive, well and happy.
And finally, I got a new laptop. I didn't ask for it, wasn't expecting it but I love it. It's red and white and shiny. And I got a pretty cool case for it as well. I'm currently writing this blog on my new laptop. The only downside is that I have to transfer all my stuff from the old one to this lovely, shiny new one, but, my dad being awesome went and brought a data transfer lead to hopefully make it a little bit easier.
The only downside really is that I have work tomorrow, but I'm gonna go in hungover. I need to wrap up my secret santa for work, one problem is, is that I don't know if we have any wrapping paper left.
I also love Becky for the fact that she got me Taylor Swift's new album and I'm loving it. The title for this blog is a lyric from one of the songs on the album.
My Christmas dinner was pretty damn amazing, my mum did so well, slaving away while we were at the pub. I just hope she realises how much we appreciate it.

This has to have been the best Christmas in a really long time, not that the others are crap just that today seems extra special. Hopefully this evening will be just as good.
Merry Christmas everybody!

My eyes are open my soul is closed

I've realised that you need me, you know who are and I'm going to stick it out with you. You need me and I'm going to do all I can to be there for you. Sure you piss me off, and I probably piss you off as well but we wouldn't be human if we didn't. And in all fairness to us, 5 and a half years and we're only just having our first tiff, I think that shows how pretty awesome we are.
You need me, at any time, I'm just a phone call away or if it's even more desperate than that a 10 minute walk. I know I too can be a bit unbearable or over bearing at time and I'm sorry. I never want to lose you, no matter what I said in a previous blog.
As a very wise friend said we're like milk and cookies :), but so long as I'm the cookie I don't really care.

And I know, any time I need to talk, you're there for me too. You might not always understand, but you try and I value that more than you'll ever know.
So, basically, this is just a chance for me to say, I'm glad we figured it out and I'd probably be lost without you.

I love you (in a total non lesbian way) and I'm so thankful you're in my life.

Grown apart

I think it's safe to say we've grown apart. I don't really like who you've become and although I don't think I'm different you probably feel the same. We'll be cordial to each other because we hang out with the same people, although, you'll probably draw them away from me because I can see you being like that.
We're ultimately different and therefore can't get on as well as we once did. I can see this being the end. It was good, while it lasted and I'm going to miss you but I'm fed of feeling like you're treating me differently.
Goodbye my friend.

What is it with you?

What is it lately? Criticise Kayleigh time? It seems like everything I say you have to contest. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, I understand that, but is there any need to constantly contest mine? No, I don't think there is. So, go fuck yourself!

Sometimes you feel like being engulfed

I don't really have all that much to blog about but I want to.
Liking someone who seems to constantly be obsessed with hard, having no sense of direction in your life, feeling unwanted and the crap that the government is now going to get me into, just because they decided to raise university fees.
So I am currently seeing no point in even trying to do well in my AS/A Levels because there is absolutely no way I will probably even be able to afford it or to pay it off, especially as I am so unsure of my future.

Well, for now that's all